Now that the holidays are done... :)

Thank God its over :)
As i have said before, I would hibernate every year from Nov- Jan if possible!

This blog, even in my absence, is amazing. I wish I knew of a way to let others post because the amount of emails is unanswerable for me, and there are so many people who are seeking advice, or support, and have questions- I wish I could do more...

I shy away from answering emails that would support someone in the business. I'm not sure if that is the right thing to do or not- but my advice cant keep you safe, and that would feel like I was supporting your decision, and I am not. So many of you ask how to properly screen, and stay safe, and to be honest there is no perfect answer. There are steps you can take, but nothing is 100% like just staying out.

If I can do it so can you... and its amazing to get emails from those of you contemplating starting who have decided not to because of my blog. I have accomplished my goal in starting this, which was to show the other side. Its not easy, or pretty, but you can quit, you can make it in other ways financially, it doesn't have to be escorting.

I have managed not to go back, and the bills are paid.. and so it goes. Never easy, but do-able. I had panicked when things were tight, and had friends help me put the pieces in place so that if I had chosen to go back I could have. I felt better having the crutch and maybe the power trip, I played around in the industry underworld and got a kick out of the attention- but the thought of actually going back out there and what might happen kept me home.

Based on the emails I assume the next question would be how.. How do I manage to avoid the industry and still make it. It would be unfair i suppose to say that it can be done and not explain how.

First is the emotional aspect, and for those of you getting out you know what I mean. Its that constant struggle in your mind for the fast money. That's the hardest part, but making it a reality and thinking of the actual date and the dangers and not just the money is key. Focus on the reality and not the fantasy, it helps. I found that taking the steps and choosing not to follow thru was alot easier than saying "I cant do this!" I had to play with my mind a little :)

Second is the bills... I hear from so many of you in horrible financial situations, and I totally understand how overwhelming it can be. Ive been there. You cant move mountains, but you can move dirt. ( Ok ill stop trying to come up with motivational quotes...lol) What I mean is dont think about it all at the same time. Focus on immediate needs if you have to until you get on your feet. Electricity, Food, Transportation, shelter. Give yourself time to figure out the other things. I threw all of my bills into a giant box except the electricity for awhile- i pretended i had one bill- pretty easy :)

Working and resourcing. Of course you should be working. I haven't heard from anyone who is sitting on their ass asking how to be rich. We are all in the same boat, working but struggling. I personally feel better knowing I'm not the minority now, as shitty as that sounds, I like knowing that this recession has us all relating to each others struggle a bit more. Okay... so working and not cutting the bills. Reach out to the landlord, credit companies, utilities. They are almost all willing to work with you in today's economy. Swallow your pride and ask for help, not easy but it feels alot better when you see they are willing to work with you. Also you can check out programs that are set aside to help with bills in the area. My electric company actually gave me the number when i called to ask about payment plans. A second job might be needed until you find something better or lower the bills....

Resourcing.... I was doing all of the above for a bit, all the while kicking myself in the ass for not taking the fast cash route but in a way enjoying the challenge to stay out. I had met numerous sugar daddies that just didn't click with me, and a few that did. I reached out to them, not in a greedy or needy way, but honestly. I explained to them that i was working two jobs and still just short each month. And they helped. One paid my car, the other my rent, one my bills... i was amazed. I wasn't dating these guys, nor did i intend too... but i had talked with them for awhile and was always friendly, even though i wasn't intending on dating any of them. Chatting with benefits :) - But in reality I had built a web of resources that came through when i needed them too. Not all of them of course, that would've been a miracle- but enough to put me ahead so that my jobs were enough again. The man i had been seeing was very generous- he handed me keys to one of his empty homes and said to call it home for as long as i needed. I didn't and wouldn't due to the kids and not being in control of the situation, but I was amazed by the generosity of friends.

Sugar daddies, family, friends- whatever resources you have. Ive found that once i put my pride aside and ask for help, doors open. Financial help, better job opportunities, even great ideas have come to me just by being open and honest with people. Stop trying to do it all by yourself, even if it seems you have no one to turn to you do- just think outside the box.

I am in a much better place now, and can think clearly now that I am not in panic mode anymore. I was an emotional wreck because of the holidays and fighting with my ex, and i still managed not to go back to the industry, and i think karma rewarded the good choice with so many doors opening.

Anything is possible....and your choices are unlimited. Escorting takes over and feeds on your fears, but if you can get through it and find other ways to manage, you ll start to realize how shitty of a choice it is.

For you dear S***y

Found on web but worth sharing....

ONLY RAPISTS CAN PREVENT RAPE

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about:

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.

Note:
This goes for any gendered rape, male on female or female on male or female on female or FTM on MTF or non gendered to dual gendered and so on and so forth....

-author unknown